Wearing My Husband's Clothes

When it comes to clothing to wear around the house, my husband's clothes absolutely cannot be beat. Take my very outfit at this moment: an old XXL blue shirt (that isn't even ours!! Mr. N borrowed from our brother-in-law for a basketball game) and a pair of gray mesh shorts.

I usually stick to my own bottoms, but I've recently discovered that men's shorts have better coverage. Coverage? You wonder... Let me explain: I am not a fan of underwear. Yes, I wear it when I'm out and about...but when it comes to the privacy of my own home...BUH-BYE PANTIES! So when I say that men's mesh shorts cover better than those Victoria's secret hooker shorts, you see why that's a plus for me.

Sometimes I wonder what single gals wear around the house...do they simply wear all of their own clothes? I wonder if I could donate some of Mr. N's old comfy clothes that I don't need anymore. Maybe I should start a single girl's needy collection. But, I regret, it won't work. The reason why I love this outfit so much, is because it belongs to my love.

-N

Meet Lady Lazy

Lady Lazy is based on a real girl living in America today. Although the details of her essence may seem like utter bullshit, the facts are based on pure reality.

Quick Facts on Lady Lazy:

~Mother of a toddler
~Recently split from her ATM...I mean husband
~No job
~Lives with parents
~A bankruptcy and a foreclosure...all before her late 20s.
~Proud Republican
~Credit card debt totaling tens of thousands of dollars

Ahh yes. Lady Lazy is yet another friend of N and M...well, used to be friend. Her ridiculousness got to the point where we simply could not support her any longer. It's strange how these psuedo-friendships develop over time. Until one day when you wake up and realize this "friend" of yours represents everything you hate. Take a look at that list up there again. In the crisis our country is in today, Lady Lazy took it upon herself to rack up so many credit cards that someone with three times her income wouldn't be able to stay afloat. And then...POOF!...the bankruptcy fairy came and erased it all. Easy Peasy!

Lady Lazy had to have the best of everything. IE: the most expensive brand names that she not only didn't need, but could not afford. It's fair to say that Americans with these spending habits are responsible for the recession, in my opinion.

So ladies, remember: If you can't afford it, you probably don't need it. If you have to charge it, you definitely don't need it. And if you have to fill your house you can't afford with material things that you can't afford to feel better about yourself, get some help! Or you may end up divorced, broke, and bitter.

-M

Mommy Be Back

I'm so pissed at what has become the "Jon & Kate Plus 8" scandal! I actually used to watch this show...as did M, so don't let her lie to you. I thought that even though they were absolutely insane at times, they were a solid family. Well...as all "reality" shows relationships do, this one is on a Pennsylvania trash heap.

It looks like fame-whoring got in the way of the marriage, and now eight kids will be the ones who are fucked up because of it. Why do people get caught up in fame and money so easily? This bitch really wasn't that famous until her husband got drunk with a teacher. But, as an embarrassed fan of this show, I saw the signs at the end of last season. Kate was always off "on business"...IE: fame-whoring herself out. Can't we just be happy with what we have?? Even if it isn't much??

So...Kate is going to have to heed some advice from my man Chris Rock: "You have to teach your kids more words other than, 'mommy be back.'"

By the way...tell this bitch her hair isn't cute. Seriously...reverse mullets are not the new "thang."

-N