What Would You Think?

I received the following text message from my single (oh yes, she's bitter about it) friend, Slim: "Husband and wife arrive in heaven. Wife says, "Here we are together again." Husband say, "Fuck that shit! Deal was till death do us part. Bitch, I'm single!"

As a mostly-happily married woman, my first reaction was, "What the hell does that mean??" Was it simply a stupid forwarded joke? Or was she trying to make some type of comment on my marriage?

After about ten minutes of reflection, I responded with this: "You must have meant that for some other girl's horrible husband. I will disregard."

I thought that I sent the proper amount of bitch-tone to get my point across that I didn't appreciate the "joke" and I didn't think it applied to my life.

Slim's response: "Hahaha..not horrible husband! It was cute! You and I both know that Mr. N is the shit..."

If this was me forwarding a joke on to someone I didn't think it applied to, I would have put a little note in front of it, like, "Just thought this was cute, and wanted to pass it on." Obviously, she thought of me when she read this, so I am slightly offended.

So my question remains...would you be offended in this situation? Or am I just overreacting?

-N

And Speaking of Slim...

I had to add my two cents on Slim. I don't think all single girls are necessarily stupid, but I think they sometimes do very stupid things. Slim is sweet, pretty, funny, and financially independent. For a while she was living the dream single girl life, having fun and not having to answer to anyone. But all of a sudden she apparently wants...dun dun dun...a relationship. With a guy who always tells her that is the last thing he wants. And apparently she is still Facebook-stalking her obviously homosexual ex.

The frustration from this has led me and N to compile a little list for you single girls from some helpful married women:

1. Having sex with someone does not make them your boyfriend. In fact, if they know they can have sex with you without that label, good luck!

2. Don't ask your non-single friends for advice when you don't want to hear it. Yes, we are going to tell you that moving in a with a guy that you have been dating for 6 months whom is currently jobless is probably a bad idea.

3. Don't forget that we need you too! Just because we are in good relationships doesn't mean that we don't like to go out and get drunk too! And if your boyfriend breaks your heart, you'll need your friends to pour vodka down your throat and tell you what a douchebag he is. So don't forget us!



And remember, not all single girls are stupid! I'm sure there are some that want to bang their head against the wall as often as I do.

-M

Meet Slim

Why is a friend of N and M (we'll call her Slim from here on) heartbroken because her gay ex-boyfriend got engaged to a girl she hates?? I mean, come on...you are convinced he is homosexual and you hate the girl....so shouldn't we be celebrating?

Sometimes single girls are so desperately pathetic it makes me want to vomit...

-N