The reason I list, besides the obvious need to remember to do something, is that I honestly get a visceral satisfaction of crossing my accomplishments off of my lists. Some people like to timidly put a tiny check mark next to their accomplishment, but not me! I like a thick line or two through my list item. Analogically speaking, I get the relief I imagine cutters do (I didn't say it was a good analogy!!). I actually feel physical relief. When a list is actually finished, I want to frame it up and say to the world, "I DID IT!!!"
I know M is also a huge fan of lists as well, but I wonder if this a woman thing, a housewife thing, or what? I find it interesting that some people share my eccentricities, so do share!
-N
** I liked the picture above, because I would love to start listing with a beer in my hand. :)
As I attempted to pass, I witnessed a scene that literally made me laugh out loud. The poor woman who was dishing out samples of Ghiradelli brownies was no match for the crowd before her. As she furiously dished out the chocolatey goo, people were snatching it off of her tray. If she paused to wipe off her utensil, the crowd stood there, mouths watering, staring her down like I would imagine a lioness does an injured antelope. It was sad. I laughed as I steered my cart around these heathens, who appeared to have never had a brownie and/or a free sample in all of their heathen lives.
-N
As a mostly-happily married woman, my first reaction was, "What the hell does that mean??" Was it simply a stupid forwarded joke? Or was she trying to make some type of comment on my marriage?
After about ten minutes of reflection, I responded with this: "You must have meant that for some other girl's horrible husband. I will disregard."
I thought that I sent the proper amount of bitch-tone to get my point across that I didn't appreciate the "joke" and I didn't think it applied to my life.
Slim's response: "Hahaha..not horrible husband! It was cute! You and I both know that Mr. N is the shit..."
If this was me forwarding a joke on to someone I didn't think it applied to, I would have put a little note in front of it, like, "Just thought this was cute, and wanted to pass it on." Obviously, she thought of me when she read this, so I am slightly offended.
So my question remains...would you be offended in this situation? Or am I just overreacting?
-N
I hope everyone has a fabulous Memorial Day! Enjoy your day off, the BBQs, the beers, and anything else your day has in store for you.
As you relax and spend time with family and friends, don't forget to give a little time to reflecting on what Memorial Day represents for those who have lost their lives for the United States of America.
Personally, I will be thinking about my generation's men and women dying in Iraq and Afghanistan in an illegal war. I hope that President Obama can bring them home soon!
-N
I just read this article on 3 bad reasons to buy a home. These reasons are what soooooo many people use all the time. As a renter in a large and expensive city, these reasons have always bothered me.
When President Obama was campaigning and was elected, I gave little thought on what Michelle's impact on me would be. I was confident that President Obama would help rebuild the America I was raised to love, but had no idea how in love I would fall for Michelle.
So here goes...
Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Michelle Obama
10. She is an example to women around the world that you can do it all. Having a career and family is attainable.
9. She bares her arms! I love that she is proud of her body and shows it off in the manner she wishes. She works hard to tone those arms!
8. She's uber smart. A practicing lawyer with a big career, not just a supportive wife and baby maker.
7. She is my generation's Jackie Kennedy. A young mother, fashionable, vibrant, and interesting. Not just some old hag in her pant suit.
6. I love, love, love her fashion. From the cardigans to the Jason Wu gown inaugural gown. Silly reason? Yes. But, I don't care! I'm a girl and girls love clothes!
5. I love that she is open about the issues her and President Obama have had about balancing work and family. These are issues most women can relate to, and it makes her more relatable to us.
4. She planted an organic garden on White House grounds. As a big city girl, I have to say it has been a fantasy of mine to have a garden and I'm completely jealous!
3. She has a genuine factor. I love her laugh, her smile, the way she teases President Obama, the way she looks at her girls, and everything else I see her do. At times I can agree with certain criticisms, but I can't deny that she is just being herself.
2. She wears sneakers! There was somewhat of an uproar when our First Lady showed up to an event with sneakers on. The horror!! Real women, obviously, wear heels 24/7...therefore, so should our First Lady!
And the #1 reason why I love Michelle Obama is...
She was born middle class and worked her way up in life. There is something to be said about people who aren't handed their futures, and actually earn them through sacrifice and hard work. As a middle class girl, she is a fantastic role model!
-N
On "The View" today, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters called out Glenn Beck on his lying ways. Even though their issues was petty and irrelevant, it's one of those things that shows a person's character. I hate to spread anything regarding this sideshow clown, but I have to admit, I got some joy out of watching his squirm as he was tag-teamed by Whoopi and Barbara.
-N
Before you jump down my throat, hear me out. Not all "chick flicks" are bad....just most of them. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love classic chick flicks like Pretty Woman, Dirty Dancing, and Thelma and Louise. But for every classic I love, there are 25 shitty ones I despise.
Unlike most women, Matthew McConaughey does absolutely nothing for me. Not only is he dirty looking, he plays the same character in each of his cookie-cutter chick flicks. Amistad was amazing, but Failure to Launch was ridiculous. Don't even get me started on Matt's chick flick cohort, Kate Hudson! Why are women attracted to this ditz? Is the ideal woman/girlfriend/wife we are trying to be? Lord knows, I'm certainly not.
The chick flick I want to see is one that empowers women. One that says, having a man is great, but you don't need one to complete you. I don't need to see a woman always in a moment of desperation because of what a man does or says. Fuck that. I don't need to watch a movie to show a woman acting crazy to get a man, all I need to do is tune in to the latest "Rock of Love" season.
Note to Hollywood: some women aren't crazy, desperate, or just plain airheaded (well...at least not all the time!). Please make more movies that don't fit in that box, because poor Kate Winslet can't carry the torch forever.
Since I live in a U.S. metropolis (not Philly BTW!), I was able to jump on the subway and head to get some work done without endangering any lives while driving in my beer haze . My tasks were accomplished quickly and profitably...so it was great that I went when I did.
All in all...a fabulous, but busy, Monday. Hopefully the rest of the week will be just as awesome!
-N
Even though I still have huge life goals, the ones I make everyday simply help me get through the day. For example, one goal I found myself making today involved this inner dialogue: "I will put away the laundry when The Real Housewives of New York Reunion Special goes to commercial." Not quite as grand as my 10-year-old self imagined, but a critical and important goal nonetheless for the adult me.
-N
Just last night I was directing you to the Kraft Foods website...and all the while the newest edition of the magazine was awaiting me in the mail! I am now plotting some new recipes to try! Subscribe if you haven't already. It used to be free, but with all this recession bullshit they are charging $5.99 a year. Still totally worth it...plus there are coupons.
Have an awesome Sunday! I'm off to put my laundry in the dryer...
-N
I love nothing better than to watch a trashtastic lady going off!! It must remind me of home... :)
-N
Princess Orange is a real life person living in a year-around fantasyland of her creation. Princess Orange is a person I cannot escape, as she is family by marriage. I've known Princess Orange for almost a decade, and have watched her evolve into her current state.
Quick Facts on Princess Orange:
~Maintains her orange glow all year long
~Bought a Cadillac while unemployed and living at home
~Is obsessed with Tiffany jewelry
~Routinely wears all clothing 1 to 2 sizes too small
~Bought a condo and ALL new expensive furnishings and electronics, while planning a huge wedding she's not paying for
~Appears to be fake both inside and out
~Master manipulator of those who hold the purse strings
It seems that Princess Orange has a lot of people fooled. Most people don't care to go much deeper than the surface, which is just fine for her, as there isn't much beyond her surface. She is all about appearances...the best car, the best jewelry, the best tan (I can't even type that with a straight face), the best house, the best furnishings, the best EVERYTHING. Her quest for a material oasis has shown to take up most of her energy, because she has none left to work on herself as a person.
Princess Orange has been infected with the me, me, me virus that many young women in America have inevitably suffered. If it doesn't do something for her, Princess Orange simply ain't doing it. Her selfishness is almost at the sociopathic level. Don't believe me? Read on...
A couple of years ago, Princess Orange decided that her current boyfriend just wasn't cutting it. He was about to go on another tour in Iraq and his combat pay was running out from all those trips to Tiffany's. All of Princess Orange's family and friends were marrying off before her eyes, so she decided that's what she wanted. Buh-bye slut, party-girl persona, hello wife persona.
Right after Princess Orange convinced Army Boy to marry her, she dumped him. Oh wait...she dumped him right after she rekindled her romance with an ex-boyfriend (we'll call him X). This is the same ex-boyfriend she cheated on with Army Boy when they started their relationship the previous year. Needless to say, it is unknown if X really has any idea about the details of how their relationship ended the first time or how it began now.
After about a year, Princess Orange put the pressure on X to propose. After a big fight over her obsession with it, he finally proposes in a extremely cheesy Christmas scenario, with a gaudy cocktail ring no less. At this time, she is dividing her time between officially still living at home, and realistically living with X, but not paying for shit. This goes on for some time, until Princess Orange decides apartment living is for losers, and she must have a brand new condo of her own. But wait! The condo won't be enough...she needs a complete furnishing of the ENTIRE condo. Nothing old can be reused! On top of this, we can't forget that Princess Orange must also have a huge gala wedding in the fall.
So what's a selfish bitch to do when your life is hanging by a credit card string? Call Mummy, of course! One problemo (ok, maybe several)...Mummy is about to retire. Mummy also forked over a lot of moolah in an ugly divorce a couple of years ago. Mummy is also trying to sell her house in this fucked up economy, and not to mention, is finally happy and getting serious with a luvah of her own. Does this phase Princess Orange? FUCK NO! In the Princess Orange master manipulation game, Mummy decides to push back her retirement, and most likely her relationship, in order to cater to Princess Orange's fantasyland life.
The wedding will be in the fall, but as a close family member, I really know nothing about it. I'm not sure if this is because of my bitchy comments of honesty that have been made throughout the years, or simply because I'm living far away from Princess Orange's fantasyland world and her dull mind can only see what's in front of her. But rest assured...the Princess Orange and X wedding will be covered at length in the fall!!
-N
Since I don't always have a bazillion hours to slave in the freaking kitchen to cook a delicious and nutritious meal from scratch, I have fallen head of heels in love for the Kraft Foods website. Not only are the recipes yummy, they are simple and mostly contain items you have on hand in your kitchen everyday.
I utilize this website even when I'm bringing a dish to pass. One super easy dessert recipe I use constantly (it has always been a hit) is for Grasshopper Pie (as seen above).
If your in a pinch for a simple, yet delightful dish to show off to all of your bitchy friends, try the Grasshopper Pie. I guaran-freaking-tee it will be a hit and make you the queen of the universe for your gathering! :)
GRATE chocolate over pie.
REFRIGERATE 2 hours or freeze until firm. If frozen, remove pie from freezer about 10 min. before serving; let stand at room temperature to soften slightly. Store leftovers in refrigerator or freezer.
Listening to one of my favorite Styx songs, "Come Sail Away" is inspiring me to a take a trip in fantasyland! Maybe a cruise somewhere on the open waters?? I hate the idea of cruises, but in my fantasyland today, the cruise will be Speedo and cookie-cutter activity free!
Dream with me!
Well...back to reality. Ho-hum! Fantasyland was fun while it lasted!!
-N
When it comes to clothing to wear around the house, my husband's clothes absolutely cannot be beat. Take my very outfit at this moment: an old XXL blue shirt (that isn't even ours!! Mr. N borrowed from our brother-in-law for a basketball game) and a pair of gray mesh shorts.
I usually stick to my own bottoms, but I've recently discovered that men's shorts have better coverage. Coverage? You wonder... Let me explain: I am not a fan of underwear. Yes, I wear it when I'm out and about...but when it comes to the privacy of my own home...BUH-BYE PANTIES! So when I say that men's mesh shorts cover better than those Victoria's secret hooker shorts, you see why that's a plus for me.
Sometimes I wonder what single gals wear around the house...do they simply wear all of their own clothes? I wonder if I could donate some of Mr. N's old comfy clothes that I don't need anymore. Maybe I should start a single girl's needy collection. But, I regret, it won't work. The reason why I love this outfit so much, is because it belongs to my love.
-N
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